Read My Mind

Today’s post has generously been written by Stevo.  He’s a good egg!

As you are probably all aware, the AFL has put the home and away season on hold this weekend to stage the Victoria vs The Rest of the World match. Media spin is already running rampant claiming this is a tribute to 150 years of our great game, but my sources tell me it is simply to give the time keepers a chance to learn how to use a stopwatch without stuffing up the premiership points. Regardless of the reason’s, we’ve all earned a week off to rest our hammies, and do some light training work to ensure we’re all fighting fit for the rest of the season. Such a week poses some serious problems though… where do we get our sport fix this weekend with 21 less hours of footy than regular weeks? Well ladies and gentlemen, [I have] got you covered with enough suggestions below to keep everyone entertained.

10. Get online and find that infamous clip of John Howard trying to bowl a cricket ball to some kids on one of his trips to the subcontinent. Lacking in sporting prestige, but still incredibly funny.
9. The Formula 1 heads to Istanbul (not Constantinople) this weekend. The Ferrari’s will almost certainly win, but our boy Mark Webber finished the last race (that’s right he finished, in fifth no less), so the interesting thing about this race will be to see how many corners he can last until the car fails or he crashes out. Smart money is on under 6 laps.
8. Buy a dartboard and invent a game with an elaborate scoring system. The inevitable confusion and arguments will give you a chance to give someone a spray while there’s no footy on.
7. Choose a high performing local footy club that is guaranteed a win this weekend and head down to the game with your team colours on. Carry on like you do at the ‘G, and simply replace all the local players names with players from your own team.
6. Watch the 2005 ashes series again. If you’ve only got time for one match, make sure it’s the Adelaide test, the one where the Poms were nothing short of disgraceful.
5. The Aussie rugby league team are hosting the Kiwi’s and are at about $1.22 to win by more than 100 points. Hard to resist a chance at watching the New Zullanders getting demoralised yet again.
4. Tell all the kids in your street there is a playstation hidden in the front yard of one of the local houses. They’ll work it out soon enough but I reckon you’ll have at least a couple of hours entertainment before they give up.
3. There’s an Indian music festival going on at the moment, so set the alarms for midnight and switch on. If you watch closely enough, you’ll notice there’s a bit of cricket in the background.
2. Tune into the ABC to watch the Melbourne Vixens go round. For those of you not familiar with netball, the way the AFL is umpiring at the moment there aren’t too many differences between the games so it should be relatively easy to follow.
1. Pull out the DVD of your club’s most recent premiership win and watch it 7 times over. (Fremantle supporters, pick any WAFL premiership and pretend the winners are wearing purple)